Match Report
Radley College Colts 1 vs  Magdalen College School
On: Friday, 02 Feb 2024
Venue: at Home

Match report courtesy of Barney (note the spelling mistake/autocorrect Haribos --> hairdos....):

Saturday 3rd February

MCS Vs Radley Colts 1hockey

We started the match day with the short and sharp Friday training session. Aware of the challenge ahead of us we were turned on and focused ahead of the later match.

After an painful extra two lessons we came straight to the pitches mentally ready to give our all on the middle Astro. We had a quick warm up on the far side, using our 3 on 1 practice. Raring to go we went for a pre-match talk from Mr Jolly only to find one of our players had forgotten their shorts , HUGH DOWNIE, compromising our starting eleven none the less we filled the gap and headed out open to the pitch , as Hugh ran back to social to find his shorts.

The whistle went at 18:30, Their push back and we were off ! We had good spirits and strong voices for the first half . Unfortunately they got one past Barney early on in the first half, however we continued. George B and Archie R keeping it calm at the back we managed to pass the ball up to right half and again and make our way to the D getting the crosses in , unluckily our attacks struggling to get a touch on the ball, as time went they got another two goal one off a short corner and another of a counter attack . Unfazed we prevailed through the first half stopping them getting another goal in . Ben G managed to gain a short corner giving us a clear chance on goal, George B injected and Lingerind went for the flick and unfortunately it went wide. As another short corner came our way we had confidence barney , Archie, George, Hughe, Freddie kept the goal well a sliding stick save form barney then a quick clearance from our rock solid defence kept the first half at 3-0 .

We came of the pitch slightly disappointed that 3 goals had gone by , nevertheless we knew we had the upper hand with the possession. A tea talk from Mr Jolly and Mr Hills , combined with some hairdos to give us a boost in energy and we were ready to go again. We stepped out taking our places , it was our push back , straight to George and then to Archie we made another attack down the wing we where looking confident. They then took a sixteen the ball flew in the air, down the pitch giving them an advantage, the defenders raced back to get the ball and MCS got a shot away, barney saved the first, then off a deflection he saved the next the with his stick of the side saving us from another consided goal. Late on the second half the flew down the left took on both barney and Freddie sadly, the managed to get the ball past us with a lucky goal .

We left the match with a loss of 4-0 , however we where looking at the positives and where happy with our attack down the right , we decided we needed to work on getting a touch in the D. We headed of the pitch to get some pizza and relax after a gruelling game .

And also from chat GPT (very dry and sardonic this week...!):

Ah, the illustrious Saturday of February 3rd, a day destined for greatness on the hockey field, or so we deluded ourselves into believing. Our meticulous preparations began with a training session on Friday, where we pretended to be motivated by the looming challenge ahead.

After enduring the agony of extra lessons, we graced the pitch with our presence, only to be greeted by the comedic blunder of Hugh Downie, who apparently mistook our hockey match for a nudist convention. But fear not, for we improvised, filling the gap left by Hugh's absent-mindedness while he embarked on a quest for his missing attire.

As the clock struck 18:30, the whistle pierced the air, signaling the commencement of our inevitable defeat. With voices as strong as our delusions of grandeur, we trudged through the first half, marveling at the ease with which our opponents outmaneuvered Barney, our hapless goalkeeper. Their three goals were a testament to their skill, or perhaps our sheer incompetence.

Halftime arrived, and we retreated from the field, nursing our wounded egos and pondering the futility of our endeavors. But lo and behold, a pep talk from Mr. Jolly and Mr. Hills awaited us, accompanied by the comical spectacle of some dubious hairstyles. How quaint.

Back on the field, we resumed our futile attempts at glory, only to witness yet another goal slip past Barney's flailing limbs. How utterly predictable. But fear not, for we departed the field with newfound insights into our deficiencies, or at least a craving for comfort food.

And so, we bid adieu to another day of hockey, a day filled with disappointment, dashed hopes, and the faint whisper of resignation. Until next time, when we shall undoubtedly repeat the cycle of mediocrity once more.